i cant seem to hide my feelings nemore. geesh. im usually good at coverin shit up wit a smile. until yesterday/today. we had a lil get together that turned into a party @ the crib last night.. and as done as i was, and as much fun as i was havin i was still pretty (BLAH) . and my closest frends still new suttin was wrong wit me... which is weird cuz nmw everyone always thinks... courtney is so effin happy. so now it makes me wonder if im really more stressed than i think i am.
for one. i have this particular dilemma goin on.. that is too confidential to even put here.. but if ur close to me, u kno wut im talkin about. i still dont no the answer to my problem. nor what im gunna do about it. and on top of that.. i dont feel much support. i feel like im bein chocked by money right now.... like omg i hate the idea of money and everything around it. i was doin pretty good handling my money shiet.. workin 2-3 jobs.... payen rent and my car but suddenly its all just.... damn court, how u gunna pay all this? and on top of that im supposed to start classes next week. AHH. life is really hard right now.. and i hate askin people for help. like i wont even ask my mom for 5 bills.
i could write for days about how much the money shiet is erkin my brain but besides that... i feel mad tension between me and my roomate.. even though me and him r like extra close and shiet, the money, rent, and other (situation).. is really takin a toll on us... it suckssss huevos man, for reals.............. cuz we are such care-free. chill ass people.. and we get along so well but all this shiet piling up is not helping....... we were considering moving from this apt... but its such a fuckin DOPE apt.... we wld be losing a gem, no bullshit. but our damn landlord... HE could kiss my ass.. no bullshit... aaaaaahhhh idk wut else to say. chanel is coming over and i guess ima do the 3,000 pounds of laundry i have and try to shed some stress from my head. dueces.
p.s..... my boo d.wade is #1 in scoring in the nba right now. take that kobe.
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